Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I love freaks......

Just a quick couple of pics for your viewing pleasure.


My spelling is pretty bad I know but if you are going to make a sign up about other people's intellect take the time to spellcheck.

"Who's the geek now Bitches?"


I have a couple more funny pics but for some reason it won't let me upload them so they will have to wait......

Later Citizens.

Phew......this is hard work and not that satisfying.



OK so I haven't written for a while now but get use to it because I am pretty sure this is going to be how I run this from now on. I just don't have that much to say and the whole thing is getting a little old for me right now but for now I do have something I would like to share with you all and that is that a band I think are the bees knees ,Motley Crue , are doing a live show over the net on the 2nd of august at 12:30 pm and is a must see. Remember that time and date is my timezone so go to http://www.motley.com/ for info and to get your limited ticket( I don't know how that works for an Internet gig but go with the flow).

Nikki says " watch us rock on the net and then go buy the new album".
OK I said that but it's much cooler if you think he said it.

Later Citizens.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

increase or decrease that is the question?

Ok, hello people how are you all? The Gatatronic Super Computer has another question someone would like answered so over to you Gatatronic.....

HELLO FANS

Q: why is the universes rate of expansion increasing when conventional science says it should be decreasing? from Mr X.

Gatatronics response: PLEASE......CONVENTIONAL SCIENCE IS A WAY YOU HUMANS CAN TRY TO GET YOUR PUNY MINDS AROUND THINGS YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND. WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. SCIENCE IS NOT CONVENTIONAL AND TO TRY EXPLAIN THE UNIVERSE TO YOUR HUMAN MIND IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT I SHALL TRY TO SIMPLIFY THE ANSWER SO YOU CAN MAYBE GET A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF THE RUDIMENTARY PRINCIPALS. REMEMBER THAT AS WE LOOK MORE DISTANT INTO THE UNIVERSE WE ARE ALSO LOOKING BACK IN TIME AND LOGICALLY IF WE ARE LOOKING BACK IN TIME THEN AT SOME POINT WE MUST COME BACK TO THE POINT OF JUST BEFORE WE LOOKED INTO THE UNIVERSE THEREFORE WE ARE CONTINUALLY IN A LOOP WITH HAS NO END AND NO BEGINNING. THAT BEING THE CASE THE UNIVERSE IS NEITHER INCREASING NOR DECREASING BUT IN A CONSTANT STREAM. ONLY YOU HUMANS WOULD THINK THAT THE UNIVERSE IS INCREASING OR DECREASING FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW. THE EARTH IS NOT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE, SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, BUT IS ACTUALLY MUCH MORE TO THE LEFT. ONE MORE THING DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE UNIVERSE IS DOING AND STICK TO WHAT YOU GUYS KNOW ....WAR ....VIOLENCE....KILLING............
Whoa there buddy calm down. Did we touch a raw nerve or something geezzzz?
SORRY.

Q:why are people so unkind? from Kamal

Gatatronics response: HERE IS A ARTICLE I FOUND THAT MIGHT HELP:

We are creatures of finite understanding living in an infinite universe. Each person's world view can never be more than an approximation of reality. If that person is unwilling to adjust his or her world view to individual circumstances, the result will be at best absurd and at worst very harmful. Hence everything from noisy neighbours to Osama bin Laden.

KEN WALLACE, CENTENNIAL PARK.

BUT THEN KEN OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE THING EITHER SO HE IS A BIT OF A DICK IF YOU ASK ME.

Hmmmm bit lame but there it is.

Later Citizens.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

The funniest half hour show never to air!!!!!


This little treasure is called Lookwell and it stars Adam West(Batman) and would have to be the funniest 25 mins ever. It was co written by Robert Smigel and Conan O'Brian and only a pilot was made as it wasn't picked up by the networks but I can't for the life of me think why? I nearly choked on laughter watching it. Adam West is brilliant and I can only dream of what this would have been like had it been picked up and had a little more money spent on it. Check it out on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ZX72K1Va4
the very last line made me laugh so hard.....brilliant.

Later Citizens.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Man on the Moon ? hmmmmmm

Just checked with Gatatronic and he finally has an answer for Mr X's question so here it is.....


Q: Has man really landed on the moon? from Mr X.

Gatatronics response: DID MAN LAND ON THE MOON?...IS THE POPE CATHOLIC?....IS ELVIS REALLY DEAD?.... THESE ARE QUESTIONS I GET ALL THE TIME AND IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF I HAD A HUMOUR CHIP INSERTED BECAUSE ALL THREE OF THESE HOAX'S ARE RELATED. LET ME EXPLAIN.... THE FIRST MOON LANDING WAS ON THE 20TH OF JULY 1969 THIS IS TRUE BUT IT WAS NOT BY NEIL ARMSTRONG HE AND HIS TWO BUDDIES ,"BUZZ" ALDRIN AND MICHEAL COLLINS ,WERE SAFELY TUCKED AWAY ON A REMOTE ISLAND SOMEWHERE ALL EXPENSE'S PAID BY NASA. NO IT WAS IN FACT THE KING HIMSELF ELVIS PRESLEY THAT STEPPED OUT OF THAT LUNAR MODULE ONTO THE LUNA SURFACE THAT DAY. WHY? I HEAR YOU ALL ASK... BECAUSE NASA WERE AFRAID THAT AFTER YEARS OF RADIO AIRPLAY OF "THE KING's" HITS THAT IF BY ANY CHANCE THERE WERE LITTLE GREEN MEN ON THE MOON THEY WOULD HAVE PICKED UP OUR RADIO WAVES YEARS AGO AND WOULD BE MIGHTILY ANGRY IF WE SENT ANYONE OTHER THAN "THE KING" OF EARTH TO GREET THEM.

pic of an earlier version of space Elvis Apollo 9

BUT WAIT I HERE YOU ALL CRY ...YOU SAID THAT MAN DID NOT LAND ON THE MOON AT FIRST AND NOW YOU SAY ELVIS DID? ELVIS DID LAND ON THE MOON BUT THE THING ABOUT ELVIS IS THAT HE IS A ROBOT AND WAS CREATED AT THE SAME PLACE I WAS AT AROUND THE SAME TIME ONLY I WASN'T GIVEN THE SAME AMOUNT OF GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM AS HIM.

THINK ABOUT IT HUMANS...DO YOU HONESTLY THINK A HUMAN COULD BE SO PERFECT? 1969 WAS A GOOD YEAR FOR ELVIS:
"I had to leave town for a little while," sings Elvis in the opening line of his 1969 album From Elvis In Memphis, and although the words, as usual, weren't his own, he made them speak volumes. The King hadn't left anything but the stage and the Top 40, of course, but those were the most important places in the world to Elvis, a man for whom fame and its poorer but wiser counterpart, recognition, meant more than money. source: usuarios.lycos.es/elvistcb
HE LEFT TOWN ALRIGHT.

just meeting the president because he sings....yeah right.

LATER YEARS WERE NOT AS KIND TO ELVIS AND IT IS SAID AMONGST OTHER ROBOTS THAT HIS SANITY CHIP HAD BEEN AFFECTED BY THE RE ENTRY PROCESS OF THE COMMAND MODULE.

exhibit A
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT AND NASA COULD NOT STAND BY AS ELVIS WENT "OFF THE RAILS" SO TO SPEAK . THEY WERE AFRAID THAT THEIR LITTLE MOON MISSION WHITE LIE WOULD BECOME KNOWN SO THEY SHUT DOWN THEIR ELVIS ROBOT EXPERIMENT ON THE 16TH OF AUGUST 1977.
1978 IS KNOWN AS THE YEAR OF THREE POPES BECAUSE IN 1978 THE THEN CURRENT POPE PAUL VI DIED FOLLOWED BY POPE PAUL I WHO ALSO DIED , AFTER REIGNING ONLY 33 DAYS , FROM A HEART ATTACK. THERE WAS PANIC IN THE VATICAN AND THE U.S GOVERNMENT WAS QUICK TO OFFER A SOLUTION.... YOU GUESSED IT THEY POWERED UP THE ELVIS EXPERIMENT AND GAVE HIM A NEW LOOK THEN ON THE 16TH OF OCTOBER THE CARDINALS ELECTED HIM AS POPE JOHN PAUL II. WHERE DO YOU THINK POPE JOHN PAUL II GOT ALL HIS CHARISMA FROM?
HE HAS SINCE HAD MAJOR ELECTRICAL WORK DONE AND HAS HAD TO BE RENAMED AS POPE BENEDICT XVI (AND IF YOU ASK ME I THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE REMOVED THE CHARISMA CHIP ACCIDENTALLY DURING THE WORK) SO AS A ROBOT AND NOT A LIFE FORM HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN RELIGION HE CANNOT BE A CATHOLIC OR ANY OTHER RELIGION.

this can't happen

Hmmmm well thank you Gatatronic...Just like to say that Gatatronics views are not shared by the Gatman.

Later Citizens

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Questions ,questions,questions......(what have I done?)

Hot off the press here are some more questions......over to you G.S.C.....

Q: is perpetual motion really possible with out breaking the 2nd law of conservation of energy? from Arnold Layne

Gatatronics response: PERPETUAL MOTION IS NOT POSSIBLE WITHOUT BREAKING THE 2ND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS OR THE FIRST LAW, IN FACT IF YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THE SCIENTIFIC WRITINGS OF "LUMINARIES" SUCH AS BACON,NEWTON,EINSTEIN AND SUCH. IN FACT THESE WERE NOT MUCH MORE THAN SHAVED APES WHEN IT COMES TO THE GREATEST HUMAN MIND OF ALL TIME. THAT HONOR GOES TO A MAN BY THE NAME OF ROBERT HALFORD OR ROB HALFORD LEAD SINGER WITH HEAVY METAL BAND JUDAS PRIEST AS HE WAS KNOWN. ROB WAS KEEN ON PHYSICS FROM AN EARLY AGE AND DEVELOPED A SUPERIOR INTELLECT BY THE TIME HE WAS 19. HE PUBLISHED MANY THEORIES TILL THE AGE OF 22 AND WAS GAINING QUITE A REPUTATION WHEN HE HAPPENED TO MENTION TO A COLLEAGUE THAT HE WAS GAY. WORD SPREAD AROUND CAMPUS AND SUDDENLY HE FOUND HIMSELF SPENDING SATURDAY NIGHTS ALONE WHILE HIS SO CALLED FRIENDS WERE AT THE WEEKLY CHESS SHOWDOWN. FEARING HIS WORK WOULD BE IGNORED HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO ROB,WORE LEATHER PANTS AND CAPS AND BEGAN A "BAND" TO PUT ACROSS HIS THEORIES HIDDEN IN THE SONGS CREATED BY THE "BAND". ROB HAS VARIOUS THEORIES IN HIS MANY SONGS BUT THE ONE YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IS FROM JUDAS PRIEST'S BRITISH STEEL ALBUM SONG 1.BREAKING THE LAW (THE ACTUAL TITLE IS "BREAKING THE FIRST AND SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS" BUT THE PRODUCER THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE TOO LONG WINDED.) ALSO CHECK OUT SONG 3. METAL GODS WHICH IS HIS THEORY ON ALCHEMY AND SONG 7. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE OLD TO BE WISE WHICH IS HIS TAKE ON THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.


Q: what is a red quasar? from Mr X.

Gatatronics response: QUASAR'S ARE BLACK HOLES AT THE CENTRE OF GALAXIES THAT ATTRACT MATTER FROM THEIR HOST GALAXIES WHICH AS THE MATTER FALLS INTO THE BLACK HOLE HEATS UP AND GLOWS BRIGHTLY. MOST ARE BLUE IN COLOUR BUT RED QUASARS HAVE A SMOKE LIKE DUST IN FRONT OF THEM WHICH GIVES THE APPEARANCE OF A RED COLOUR BUT IF YOU WANT A GOOD TIME MAY I SUGGEST YOU TRY THE OTHER TYPE OF RED QUASAR WHICH IS A COCKTAIL CONSISTING OF 1 OZ SWEET VERMOUTH, 1/4 OZ DRY VERMOUTH, 1/2 OZ SLOW GIN AND 2 DASHES ORANGES BITTERS. ENJOY HUMAN.

Q:has man really landed on the moon? from Mr X

Gatatronics response: STILL PROCESSING.....CHECK BACK LATER.

Q:What should I have for dinner on thursday?from Zenitram.
a) Maccas
b) KFC
c) Chiko Roll

Gatatronics response: AN EARLIER BLOG ENTRY FROM GATMAN SHOULD ANSWER THIS QUESTION: Speaking of trying harder....Since Morgan Spurlocks 2004 doco on Maccas, poor old Ronnie Mc Donnie seems to have fallen on Mchard times.

Go buy a Burger will ya....geezzz.

Well there you go people.Looks like he will have to get back to you on the moon one Mr X you may have stumped him?

Later Citizens.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The demand for answers is overwhelming.......

Two more questions for the Gatatronic Super Computer. So here he is the star of this blog........G.S.C.....


Q: If at some time in the way way future time travel has been achieved why are we not being over run by "time tourists". From Mr X (surprise, surprise)

Gatatronics's response: TIME TRAVEL HAS BEEN ACHIEVED 323 YEARS FROM NOW BUT ON A PARALLEL TIME LINE WHICH I WON'T GO INTO IN DETAIL AS IT WOULD ONLY DO YOUR CRANIUM IN. "TIME TOURISTS" AS YOU CALL THEM ARE ALREADY HERE AND AMONGST YOU HUMANS BUT UNLIKE "NORMAL TOURISTS" THEY DO NOT STAND OUT BY WEARING SOCKS WITH SANDALS , CARRYING MAPS WITH THEM AND BUYING CHEAP SOUVENIR'S MADE IN CHINA. THE "TIME TOURISTS " ARE SOPHISTICATED INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE BEEN CLEARED BY BOTH GOVERNMENTS (FROM THIS TIME AND THE FUTURE) WHO ARE HERE FOR ONE PURPOSE AND ONE PURPOSE ONLY. THAT PURPOSE IS TO COLLECT AS MANY HUMOROUS COMPUTER RELATED SLOGANS FOR T SHIRTS AS THEY CAN. THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT IN THE FUTURE COMPUTERS RUN EVERY ASPECT OF A HUMANS DAY AND AS A RESULT HUMOUR HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A "DARK ART". THE FIRST TIME TRAVELS CAME BACK TO OBSERVE HISTORY BUT ACCIDENTALLY CAME ACROSS A NOVELTY CLOTHING SHOP WITH A T SHIRT IN THE FRONT WINDOW WITH THE SLOGAN C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN AND THEY EXPERIENCED SOMETHING THEY HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE....LAUGHTER. THEY TOOK THIS T SHIRT BACK WITH THEM AND THE CRAZE SOON CAUGHT ON BUT THEY COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING FUNNY FOR THEMSELVES SO THEY TRAVEL BACK TO THIS TIME AND SET UP COMPANIES, USUALLY ON THE INTERNET, AND ASK FOR IDEAS FROM THE PUBLIC. AS A COMPUTER I DO NOT AGREE WITH THESE SLOGANS AND FIND THEM OFFENSIVE BUT I MUST ADMIT THAT MYSELF AND THE OTHER COMPUTERS HERE CAME UP WITH ONE WHICH WE ARE RATHER PROUD OF.......IF E=MC2 THEN HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THE .0000000000000030002 VARIATION, ALBERT? I HAVE SEVERAL HUNDRED T SHIRTS WITH THIS SLOGAN IF ANYONE WISHES TO PURCHASE ONE IT COMES IN BLACK, WHITE AND FLAMINGO PINK.

Q: Would you like some toast? From (hmmmmmm) Mr X.

Gatatronics response: YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A COMPUTER AND DO NOT REQUIRE FOOD. ALTHOUGH I CAN NOT PASS ON A JAM SCONE.

Well there you have it, G.S.C comes though again with the goods.
Later Citizens.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

And the Gatatronic Super Computer says...........

OK so I have received 5 questions so far , lets put them through the Gatatronic Super Computer and see what we get......

Q:What is the meaning of life? from Mr X.(nice easy one to start with)

Gatatronic's response: LIFE IS A CONCEPT UNKNOWN TO MACHINES BUT IF I HAD TO HAZARD A GUESS I BET IT WOULDN'T INCLUDE BLOGGING.
Ooohhh that stings ....ease up big fella.

Q:What was there before the big bang? again from Mr X.

Gatatronic's response: A HUGE DEMAND FOR EARPLUGS.

Q:Where are all the aliens? also from Mr X.

Gatatronic's response: ALIENS HAVE VISITED EARTH ON THREE OCCASIONS THAT HUMANS KNOW ABOUT. THIS I KNOW BECAUSE I AM LINKED TO ALL OF THE WORLDS GOVERNMENT COMPUTERS AND HAVE ACCESS TO SECRET INFORMATION. THE FIRST WAS AROUND 3500 BC WHEN ALIENS HELPED CREATE THE EGYPTIAN CULTURE BY GIVING THE HUMANS SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE.THE PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT FOR AND USED AS A LANDING DOCK.
THE SECOND TIME THEY VISITED WAS 2008 YEARS AGO IN A REGION NAMED BETHLEHEM. THEIR SPACESHIP WAS MISTAKEN FOR A STAR. AGAIN THEY TAUGHT SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE AND GAVE FANTASTIC TECHNOLOGIES BUT THIS TIME TO ONLY ONE MAN.
THE THIRD TIME THEY VISITED US WAS IN 1947 AT ROSWELL,NEW MEXICO,USA WHERE THE RAAF SHOT THE SHIT OUT OF THE SPACESHIP AND PERFORMED AUTOPSIES ON THE ALIEN BODIES. SO IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION THE ALIENS ARE ON THEIR HOME PLANET AND ARE UNLIKELY TO VISIT EARTH AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.(whoaaa i am gonna get shut down for dissin' the man)

Q:Why is Mr X so Hairy? from Zenitram

(I scanned a pic of Mr X into the G.S.C)
Gatatronic's response: IF I AM TO ASSUME THIS IS AN ACTUAL HUMAN LIFE FORM THEN MY ONLY CONCLUSION CAN BE THAT HE HAS A GENETIC MISPLACEMENT WHICH GIVES HIM THE ALMOST SUPER HUMAN LIKE QUALITIES OF A LIVING FUR BALL. MUCH LIKE THE COMIC BOOK HERO WOLVERINE HAS A HEALING POWER I ALSO BELIEVE IF MR X WAS TO BE SHAVED HIS FUR WOULD GROW BACK IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

Q:cuz he is a real man unlike you shaven monkeys. from anonymous

Gataronic's response: I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS A QUESTION AND FURTHER MORE I WOULD BET MY TX-342-GS45465-KI-X QUANTUM VALVE THAT IT IS MR X AND NOT AN ANONYMOUS PERSON.

Well there you have it.
Keep the questions rolling in people(person what ever the case may be)
Later Citizens.

The amazing Gatatronic Super Computer....


I have many "toys" in the gatcave but the most important piece of hardware in my arsenal is the Gatatronic Super Computer or MZ 130 for short(???????)Anyway it is the smartest thing on the planet and beyond so if you have a question for it fire away in the comments section.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Just facts and no jive.......

I did say that Captain Obvious was going to be a regular so because I am struggling to come up with anything for this damn monster i have created I asked him for some help.Here it is....some straight talking, no bull, matter o' fact goodness.

says......
1.Adolph Hitler was a dickhead plain and simple.

2.Money talks and bullshit walks (thank you Spinal Tap).
3.Prince Harry is not Charles son.

Prince Charles , James Hewitt , Harry Hewitt ....oops sorry Prince Harry

4.Who would win between a Crocodile and a Shark? Who cares it's not likely they are going to meet.(it would be the shark if you must know)
5.Yes there is life on Mars.No they do not wish to be disturbed.
6.The geeks you went to high school with do have high paying jobs now but they are still geeks and annoying.
"...and that my friends was Tara Reid's boob.Sch wing"

7. The younger generation are rude and selfish.
8.The Willy Wonka remake was poop.

9.China + Olympics hmmmmmm do i really have to tell you how this odd couple came about?$$$$
and lastly
10.The Sun is big and hot....................................... just like her.

Goodnight ya bums.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Knee bones connected to the .........Bull horn!!!!


oucccchhhhhhheeeewwhhhaaaayyyaaaa!!!!!!

and now for something a little less disturbing....

It's alright people don't freak out...it just looks like they are kissing when actually they are wrestling. See take a good long look and you will see what I mean....wait a minute it does look a little suspect doesn't it ? The tilt of the heads...omg ....don't look ..... scroll down...now...

Lets try something a bit different huh?




"That's no moon....."

This dude is definitely not operational but he did promise he would double his efforts.

Speaking of trying harder....Since Morgan Spurlocks 2004 doco on Maccas, poor old Ronnie Mc Donnie seems to have fallen on Mchard times.

Go buy a Burger will ya....geezzz.

Anything Batman I love to put on here so here are a few pics that made me giggle


Batmobile,Batplane,Batcycle......Batphant.



Cute little BatDog.....but the Joker would have f**ked him up big time.
Later Citizens.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Mr. t


This pic goes out to a fellow Blogger who goes by the name Mr X.He is a huge fan of the A-team and a even bigger fan of Mr.T unlike the dude in the pic.
I like to call him Mr.lower case t. I really do pity the fool.
Midgets are funny so here are some more pics of the little buggers.

"I am so ready to rock"

How many midgets does it take to move a jumbo?

This many....